


Heart Monitor

by nick_i_kenicki



Category: Life Is Strange 2 (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst, First Kiss, Flirting, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Hospitals, I watched tgf so we're making this sad now, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Injury Recovery, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Secret Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-05
Updated: 2019-11-12
Packaged: 2020-10-10 21:00:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20534516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nick_i_kenicki/pseuds/nick_i_kenicki
Summary: An AU where after a freak accident, strangers Sean and Finn realize they are room neighbors in the hospital. While they recover, they notice a mutual attraction.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> After episode 4 I couldn't not make this. Also the tags are more of a "better safe than sorry" thing. Don't take them too seriously since it's mostly rated T for language. (Also rip but Dad and Daniel aren't in chapter 1 alot).

It had been about two months since Sean was admitted to the hospital. He was out for the first month and worked on getting out the second one. Even if his Dad and Daniel visited him every day they could, the hospital was like a prison cell. His every minute was planned out from the moment he woke up to the second he went to bed. The rigid schedule and isolation was worse than the injury. 

Everything started with a spark. It happened during a school trip to a farm a state over. The commotion started close to the end of the day. Everyone was filing into their buses but Sean had forgotten something. A stupid pin he had bought for Daniel. The teacher gave him permission to go look for it since they still had time before send off.

Sean retraced his steps to an empty barn he and Lyla snuck off to earlier. It was huge and the chugging of machinery beneath the floor shook the walls. Sean made his way inside and searched near the spot he was sitting. Another school had just left the room so a few punks from their district hung behind to smoke. 

They caught his eye with their dyed hair and unabashed smoking. So much so, that when Sean smelled smoke from an unseen fire, he just assumed it was them. Their group including him were the only ones in the barn, so when they waved him over, Sean obliged. He was halfway across the room and one of the guys from their group was coming towards him when it happened.

Like a bolt from the blue, something beneath them lit up. Sean barely had enough time to register the fire before a powerful wave knocked him back. Everything was hot and loud, then it went silent. The space between the silent aftermath and the sudden commotion of the bystanders felt endless. The pain in his eye felt endless too, before the shock engulfed him and forced him to pass out. 

When Sean woke up, he was in the hospital. Daniel had been there watching him and talking to him for weeks prior, so he cried for almost two hours when he realized Sean was up. Their Dad couldn't stop smiling. It was a bitter goodbye when they had to leave, but Sean took the free time in his newfound isolation to get some answers. 

Sean looked it up, and found some answers. Apparently it was some kind of gas related explosion that luckily caused no casualties. As far as Sean knew, he and another guy got the worst of it. He didn't know much about the other victim, but heard him going up and down the hallway with a cane. It was agony. A useless eye and a busted leg. They were called miracles. Sean didn't feel like a miracle, he felt lonely.

The feeling didn't subside until he finally met his room neighbor. Or rather, when his neighbor finally met him.

"Well fuck," a voice echoed. Sean moved to peek out of his room and get a proper look at the speaker. It was a slim guy close to his age. He was walking with a therapist, a psychological one from the reserved, tight-lipped look of her. "Good thing my leg's busted, huh?" He asked with a hollow laugh as he struggled to walk. The therapist made a quiet comment to him, like a parent admonishing their child for saying something inappropriate.

"Damn, you can't even curse at a children's hospital? What is this world coming to?" The guy said with a sarcastic shake of his head. He caught Sean's eye and winked like they were both in on a joke. Sean almost thought about winking back, but realized it wouldn't be distinguishable from a blink with his eye patch. He didn't risk it and slipped back into his room.

A few hours later, while Joey was getting some supplies, the guy from earlier came to visit. The sound of his cane was the first thing Sean heard. He recognized it and tried to clean up quickly. Sean picked at his hospital gown and realized there wasn't much he could do as far as his appearance. His head was shaved, he had a million little scars from the accident, and a giant eyepatch on his face. It wasn't a beauty show.

Soon the stranger was leaning in the doorway. He was lanky, but obviously shorter than Sean up close. His hands were peppered in tattoos and jewelry he probably wasn't supposed to have. His smile was nice, but dangerous. He nodded at the window and spoke, "I saw you looking at me in the hall."

Sean opened his mouth to find an excuse but the guy just held up a hand laughed. "I'm not mad, man. Just wanted to introduce myself. I'm Finn McNamara." He slowly wandered across the room to sit on the windowsill. Sean blanked for a second, then remembered his manners. "Uh, hi I'm Sean Diaz." 

Finn nodded at Sean's eyepatch."Whatcha in for?" Sean wasn't sure if people were just supposed to ask people about their injuries, but he realized he didn't feel offended so it wasn't really an issue. "I was in an explosion at a farm. A piece of glass got in my eye and it's uh . . . not ever going to be the same." A lump formed at the base of his throat. Saying it out loud hurt worse than he thought it would.

"Holy shit!" Finn exclaimed. He noticed the look on Sean's face and clarified. "Oh, I didn't mean that about your eye. That's terrible but I think we're in for the same thing." Sean thought back. The group of local teens. One of them must have been Finn. For some reason the revelation made Sean laugh. What were the odds? Finn watched him and started laughing too.

When he calmed down, Sean asked, "So do you have any idea what caused it? They never really told me anything." Finn pursed his lips and thought. "Hmmm. No, but maybe it was some terrorist shit and we have super powers now." Sean liked Finn's style. "Maybe. I mean, what an origin story, you know?" They continued to riff off each other's superhero stories until a knock sounded off the door 

Without waiting for an answer, Joey popped his head into the room. "Hate to interrupt but visiting hours are over," he joked. Finn shrugged and hopped off the windowsill. "Well what can you do?" He made his way back across the room with some effort and smiled over his shoulder as he left. "See you soon Seanie."

Sean bit his lip subconsciously while he watched Joey escort Finn back to his room. He got a vibe from Finn that was unreadable, but also forward. Everything about Finn should have made Sean feel uncomfortable but he couldn't help but want to see him again. He thought about what he did that made Finn like him and what he could do to make it happen again.

Joey stepped back into the room and let out a long breath. "That boy," he said while shaking his head. "He is a handful. I didn't know you two were friends." Usually Sean would say they weren't or explain that they just met, but he felt like he had to defend Finn. "He's nice," Sean tried. Joey made a face. 

He sat on the edge of Sean's bed and unraveled the gauze while he spoke in a low voice. "I'm not really supposed to tell you stuff like this but you're a good kid Sean. I don't want you getting caught up in somebody else's life." Sean peeled back his patch and let Joey work while he listened. "Finn was in a juvenile detention center. He's not a bad guy, but you empathize with people so much that it'd be impossible for you not to get caught up in his mess."

Joey finished cleaning Sean's eye and put new gauze on it. "Look. I'm not going to be like some antagonist in a teen movie and keep you from seeing each other because it's a free country and your almost adults," Joey said with a little smile. "I'm just telling you to be careful." Sean couldn't help but smile back. Joey just had his best intentions in mind. "I will. Anyways, it's just someone to talk to while I'm here."

Joey nudged his shoulder. "Aw, c'mon man. Am I not cool enough for you now?" Sean pulled a face but gave a good natured laugh along with it. Of course Joey was cool, but Finn was cool in a different way. He made Sean feel . . . different.

Over the next two weeks, Finn would visit Sean's room during lunch everyday like clockwork. They talked about everything from personal religious ideals to dumb TV shows aimed at their demographic. Once they laughed so hard that an aid came to check and make sure nobody was actually dying. It just made the both of them laugh harder. 

All the while, Finn was getting closer and closer into Sean's personal space. First he started at the windowsill across the room, then he graduated to the chair next to the nightstand, until finally sidling right up next to Sean in the bed. Finn said it was because his legs hurt too much everywhere else. Sean didn't argue. There was something about being shoulder to shoulder that he liked. 

Maybe it was because it was easier to listen to music together with their shared earbuds. Or perhaps it was nice because they knew that they wouldn't get in trouble for talking loud all huddled together. It couldn't have been because of the enjoyment Sean got out of staring at Finn's face up close. No. It was impossible. That wasn't something friends did. 

Friends were close, yet distant. They were able to keep a certain level of cool while still being invested. Some friends even knew everything about each other. The idea of knowing everything about Finn was enticing so Sean figured that friends were allowed to ask each other things.

Sean went out on a limb one day and decided to risk a personal question. "What was juvie like? I mean, if you don't mind me asking," Sean asked while leaning forward to watch Finn think. The question must have come as a surprise, because Finn leaned away from Sean gaze, suddenly serious.

"Well uh, it's mostly like the rumors say. Or maybe it's like that because of the rumors in the first place," he decided. "Like maybe we all watched too many movies about jail and made it our reality. You know, like the hard ass cops, the dumbass kids, the weird rituals. All that shit." He clicked his tongue. "But it is better than you'd think sometimes, because you might get real lucky like I did and get a caseworker who actually gives a shit about you."

Finn looked far away, like he was reliving something. Sean was about to ask him about it, but Finn snapped back just as quickly as he had zoned out. He formed his signature smile and it was like the moment had never happened. "You're not planning to go to juvie though, right sweetie?"

The pet names weren't getting any easier, but Sean swallowed his feelings about them and let out a strained breath. "No, but I just wanted to hear what is what like." There was a moment of hesitation but Sean bit it back. "I guess I wanted to hear your story." Finn scooted to the foot of the bed so their legs weren't touching anymore. He was still smiling but it was obvious he had closed a part of himself off. "Ain't much to tell."

Sean stifled a sigh. It was always push and pull with Finn. Push a little and get a little nugget of something beautiful, then pull away before he got scared. Pull him closer to find out more, to keep him close. Then watch him push everyone away with that damn smile and those empty endearments.

Sometimes Sean wished he could forgo the games and just hold Finn close, but he knew that wasn't how things worked. There was no Finn without his complicated set of unspoken rules. And Sean knew if he dared to break them, he would lose everything. He decided, it was better to play a crooked game and chance a win than guarantee a virtuous loss.

Finn suddenly reached out and held Sean's face, snapping him out of his head. Finn titled his chin so they were staring at each other. Sean wanted to move, but he just held his breath and waited while Finn scrutinized him. Warm hands, shared breath, focused eyes. Finn's eyes were always the same; cold and untouchable behind the mischievous glint. For the first time, in staring into them though, Sean noticed that they burned with intensity. 

After a beat of silence, Finn spoke in a matter of fact voice,"You're cute." It didn't exactly sound like a compliment. More like a realization. Okay? That was weird. Well, everything Finn did was weird, but something about calling Sean cute was an extra step in an unexpected direction. Cute wasn't for guys like him. It was for kids and boy bands. Even before the eyepatch and the buzz, no one had ever called him cute.

Finn noticed Sean thinking and pinched his cheek. "Don't think so much, honey," he said with a smile. "If you're cute, you're cute." His hand lingered on Sean's face for a moment, but pulled away when he heard an announcement crack over the PA. Lunch was ending. Finn sighed then got up and made his way to the door. Once there, he blew a kiss over his shoulder and he ducked out. Despite his logical brain telling him to ignore it, Sean had to admit that Finn was someone who was cute.

After that day, Finn came around more and was more touchy. It was like he was addicted to being close. Though from Sean's experience of being somewhat isolated for two months, it was welcome. It helped that everyone listened to the general rules about touching except Finn. He snuck in so often and laid with Sean so much that the bed started feeling empty without him posted up in it. In Sean's head, he understood what it meant to think about Finn all the time and want to constantly touch him. He knew good and well, but couldn't admit it. Not yet. If he admitted it to himself then it would make everything real.

The day it did become real was a day when they were checking Sean's vitals. Joey and a few nurses he didn't know well were working with him. They checked his ears, his good eye and injured eye, all while testing his range of motion with the other injuries he sustained. They scribbled things down in their notebooks and talked amongst themselves while Sean was hooked up to a heart rate monitor.

Eventually, Joey spoke. "It looks like you're doing great man. I'm gonna talk to your doctor and see if we can start talking about discharge options in the near future. I'll try and hurry since I know today is visiting day." Sean's jaw dropped. He had no idea he was doing so well. He felt better, but he attributed it to having a friend. Joey smiled at the reaction and left with the other nurses to take care of business.

Sean was still hooked up to the heart rate monitor and reeling when Finn slipped in. Sean jumped and the machines number shot up from a comfortable 86 to 91. He usually heard Finn coming a mile away by the click of his cane, but by the look of it, he glued a piece of cloth to the bottom so it didn't make as much noise on the linoleum floor.

"Howdy there laddie," Finn said with the worst mix of Southern and Scottish accents Sean had ever heard. They laughed while Finn made his way across the room to sit on the edge of the bed. "Better now that I'm almost done. I might be getting discharged soon"

Finn made a strange face. It wasn't quite happy. "Fuck, thats uh… great news Sean." He rubbed his eyes. "Who're you going home to? Anybody special?" Sean gave him a weak punch on the shoulder. "Come on man. No way. Just my Dad and brother." Finn nodded and played with the edge of Sean's hospital gown."So that's who that handsome piece of work that comes in with the kid is." Sean rolled his eyes. "Yeah, and while we're one the subject- I don't get why all of my friends think my Dad is hot." It was a joke, but Finn didn't laugh. 

"You look just like him you know."

"You called him handsome, but you said I was cute."

"I lied."

Finn was never snappy. He was sarcastic and mischievous, but never sharp. Sean didn't know what they were doing, but he knew it was something akin to a fight. Words between words were being spoken and neither of them could decipher what the other meant.

Before Sean could ask what was wrong, Finn leaned over and took a look at the machine in the nightstand. "That's the er, heart thing right?" Finn asked with a smile like he wasn't just moody. Sean wanted to confront the issue, but could see that Finn wanted to forget it, so he dropped it too. "Yeah that's it."

"Let's test it out," Finn said with a huge smile. Sean groaned. "Ugh no. It would just be like playing chicken." Finn's eyes lit up and Sean knew he had made a mistake even bringing it up. "Now what on earth, Sean Diaz, is chicken?" Sean heaved a deep sigh and explained. "It's a game where two people get closer and closer like they're gonna kiss until one stops. First one to pull away loses."

A devious smile graced Finn's face. "Okay, let's play and here's the catch. If we play and your heart thingy goes all the way to 120 then you admit you're in love with me." Sean tried to speak and defend himself but the words weren't coming out. It was the thing that stayed away, the thing he didn't want to face. It was like staring into a pit, but Finn always got his way.

"Joey is gonna come back any minute," Sean tried weakly. "And I'm not in love with you." The argument was pathetic. Joey always took a long time coming from meetings and Finn knew that. He also didn't care enough to even try to convince Sean. He just leaned forward and puckered his lips a little. His eyes went from sad to amused so fast that if Sean didn't actually harbor some feelings for Finn, then the whole thing would annoy him.

Sean pushed his conflicted feelings away and glanced at the monitor. 90 to 93. He tried to steady his breath while he leaned forward to match the distance between them. Finn pushed forward more and placed both his arms on either side of Sean for balance. It was up to 97 now. Sean moved up a little more so they were breathing each other's air. 

Despite being a drifter, Finn always took great care in smelling nice even if he had to "borrow" supplies. Sean couldn't blame him. It was the little things that kept him in control, gave him his own agency. So the smell of his ginger mouthwash and sandalwood deodorant was certainly welcome. His smell was starting to become familiar to Sean. He missed it when they were apart. That thought sent him up to 104.

Finn smirked as he got closer. There noses were almost touching. The details of his face were the only thing Sean could focus on when they were so close. His eyebrows looked dyed, thick and dark, but his eyelashes were pale.They were lighter than the rest of his hair. It made Sean think that maybe Finn had been blond as a child. A towhead with wispy eyelashes. They were potentially the most delicate thing on Finn's face.

Finn took his turn again and swooped in so close that Sean would barely have to move for his turn. He didn't know where to look now or how close to move. Somehow Finn had made it so the final move would be Sean's. The ball was in his court. There were no more half inches of space. His options were slim. Also, his heart rate was nearing 113.

Ever since they had met, there was a connection. Sean had never gotten along with somebody so fast, so completely before. Even when he didn't realize it, he was thinking about Finn. The need to be close to him was overpowering. The urge to reach out for him wasn't quite like how it felt before. Sean felt needier.

Finn closed his eyes and in that instance, it was the push Sean needed. He leaned forward and connected. A brush of his lips against Finn's. Full and gracious. He could feel Finn's smile against his mouth and couldn't help but form his own. Soon they were laughing into each other, half kissing and half giggling.

Sean was the first one to pull away, confused but elated. Even Finn looked a little flustered as pink touched his cheeks. They stared at each other openly, then Finn's gaze drifted to the machine behind them. "Looks like I won."

His heart rate had gotten to a perfect 120.

"Sean?" A voice suddenly interrupted them from the door. It was Sean's Dad and from the expression on his face, it was obvious that he saw what they had done. Sean looked between them, trying to think of an excuse, but Finn spoke first. "I was just heading out." With some effort, he lifted himself from the bed, grabbed his cane, and shuffled across the room. When he got to the door, he offered his Dad a nonchalant smile and went out without another word.

Sean opened his mouth to explain.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A serious talk with Dad and a few confirmed biases.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aka the time Finn rolled a success on Chrisma then immediately failed. Also this is not betad so I hope it's ok. I apologize for any mistakes.

Sean felt silly saying out loud, but nothing else came to his head.

"That's my friend Finn."

They were sitting in the hospital room. Joey came in right after his Dad to take away the machinery and looked like he wanted to make a comment, but decided against it when he felt the tension. When he left, everything was silent. Maybe the calm before the storm.

His Dad choked out a breathy laugh. He didn't look mad exactly, he looked shocked. He tried to speak but wheels were busy turning in his head. Sean just waited with his hands folded in his lap, like a troubled child waiting for a ruler to come down on his knuckles.

If Sean had to guess, he would say his Dad was probably trying to pinpoint where it all started. He couldn't blame him. Sean often wondered that himself. The moment he realized his feelings toward boys developed into a little more than platonic. Sean reached deep into his own memories for some sort of clarification.

He didn't have crushes as a kid. In some ways, he was jealous of Daniel's thing for Lyla, because at least he knew what he liked. When Sean was ten, he barely knew the difference between boys and girls. Call him dense, but Karen had just left and he moved schools so he missed out on whatever birds and bees talk would have happened at that age.The majority of Sean's time was spent watching cartoons and it was obvious his Dad was busy with Daniel.

Since he was spending more time with the boys at his new school, he started learning about guy culture. They were obsessed with girls and witch hunted everyone who even seemed like they weren't. Sean didn't want to get any flack, so he pretended he liked girls too. He kept up the act until it finally stuck. Soon it became easier to engage with the guys about romance and crushes. Things had become easier, especially since Sean didn't doubt he liked girls anymore. Like his Dad told him a million times, he was just a late bloomer.

A late bloomer wasn't-

"So you're gay?" Sean's Dad finally spoke, surprisingly calm. Sean wrung his hands while he thought about an answer. It was the first time since his Dad saw the kiss that he looked Sean in the eyes. Thankfully, they weren't angry. In fact the lack of emotion in his eyes scared Sean more than the thought of him being angry.

Sean mulled it over for a moment. He didn't think he was gay. He liked Finn and suspected that his relationships with some of the guys he worked so hard to impress before had a little more at stake than friendship. However, he knew he liked girls. He couldn't explain it well, but he knew he did 

"No. I'm not gay," Sean told the truth. His Dad furrowed his brow. "Oh mijo you don't have to lie," he said, reaching out to hold Sean's hand. Sean took it but shook his head. "I'm not lying. I just- I just like both. I think I'm," Sean struggled for the word. If only Finn was here. He knew everything about different sexualities. They talked about love and sex so much it was criminal. Finn wasn't there though and Sean had to say something because his Dad was staring. He mentally filed through a few terms before settling."- bisexual. Yeah. I'm bisexual."

Maybe it was at the resolve in Sean's voice or maybe the proclamation itself, but his Dad just gave a serious nod. He thought for a little longer then started a story. "You know back in Puerto Lobos, we were all hotshots. It was the way we were. I settled down with your mom but she wasn't the first person I loved or the first person who loved me." He looked out of the window. When the sun hit his Dad's eyes, Sean could imagine how starry he was when he was a teenager.

"I loved a lot and hurt someone every single time. Except when I truly put my heart on the line, I was the one left hurting," he explained. "So yeah, while this is unexpected, I'm open minded. I'm just scared for you in other ways mijo." His Dad held his hand tighter. "I'll always love you and who you love doesn't change anything but you're sweet and that boy . . ." He pauses. "Is not." Sean pulled his hand away. "What do you mean?"

His Dad heaved a deep sigh. It was rare that he was so serious. "I've seen that boy before. Boys like him. I was that boy. He likes to have fun without the commitment." Sean felt his face burn. He wasn't sure if he was indignant or sad. "You don't even know him."

His Dad offered a weak smile. "You're right Sean. I don't. But I know you and I love you so much so I'll trust your judgement," he said while leaning over and offering Sean a peck on the forehead.

They didn't talk about Finn or sexuality or really anything serious for the rest of the visit. Sean mentioned that his doctor may think about discharging him soon. His Dad was elated. Maybe because Sean would be home, or maybe because he'd be away from Finn.

Neither of them voiced their concerns. Visiting hours were over and his Dad offered him a few more more "I love you's" before leaving. Joey returned later and Sean completed the rest of his daily activities without a hitch. He didn't see Finn again that day.

After about three days of wondering if he did something wrong, a knock sounded off from his door. It was almost 3am so the only people around were the night shift workers. Most of the nurses were down the hall a little ways so it was likely that no one heard the noise except Sean.

Sean thought he was dreaming at first. Then the quiet knock came again. Sean hopped out of his bed and went to the door to investigate. He peeked out of his door to see none other than Finn. His crooked smile spoke volumes.

"Hey sweetie. Got a moment?" He asked while leaning against the door. Sean ignored the flutter in his heart and pushed away his gut response to be angry. "Mm. I don't know. An uninvited guest at this hour? It had been awhile." Finn gave a dramatic shrug and played along. "Well I guess you're right. I won't intrude."

He walked a few steps away from the door but Sean rolled his eyes and pulled him in before he could get too far. Finn laughed quietly and let himself mold into Sean like a hug. "I missed you," he said with his chin buried into Sean's shoulder. 

"You didn't have to miss me. Where were you these last few days?" Sean asked. He didn't know why he was so afraid of the answer.

Finn squeezed Sean tight. "I'm sorry. I talk a big game but meeting the folks so early kind of scared me." Excuses. Sean wanted to call Finn out but didn't know on what exactly. They were about the same age. It made sense for Finn to feel the pressure. Now Sean was making excuses.

Finn must have noticed the shift in mood, because he changed the subject. "So what did you tell dear old Dad? Did you blame it on some kind of dumb game or incriminate me the weird kid whose absolutely obsessed with his straight best friend?"

Sean's shook his head and linked his hands around Finn's waist. It was foreign. Hiis body still hadn't caught up with reality. "I actually came out to my Dad." Finn's amused smile faded away instantly.

"Oh. Now why would you go and do that?"

Sean offered him a weak smile. "Well he didn't really care that I'm bi and I kind of knew he wouldn't, I think. He's always been super accepting of other people. He just doesn't exactly approve of . . . well, he doesn't approve of you."

If Finn was hurt, he didn't let on. "Fuck, we're just like Romeo and Juliet," he said with a laugh. Every comment came with a side of laughter when it came to Finn. However for Sean, the fact that Finn didn't take the approval seriously made his Dad's words echo in the back of his head. 

Wild boy. Boy without a home. Hotshot. Noncommittal. Thrill seeking. Fear had many synonyms and Finn wasn't working hard to dispel any of them.

Sean supposed that was the inherent issue with relationships or whatever they were doing. Someone could be a drifter on their own and someone could love a drifter from afar, but when they got tangled up, it was impossible to stay impartial. Finn was fun when he was a friend. But as a lover, Sean's heart was too invested.

"Finn? Are you my boyfriend?" Sean asked on a limb. 

Finn's eyes were unreadable. He was always unreadable. He sighed. "Can I kiss you first?" It wasn't an answer, but Sean closed his eyes and nodded. 

Their first kiss was led by Sean so it was awkward and tentative, an explosion of new emotions. A bloom. On the other hand, the kiss led by Finn was unyielding and sweet at the same time. His experience really showed in the way his hands moved up to hold Sean's face. It was like getting a little piece of a secret. A glimpse into Finn's life before the hospital. Then it was over. 

Sean opened his eyes to see Finn's face overflowing with fondness and warmth. His smile was genuine. "Sean you're like a light, man. You make me want to run away from everything. The best of a fucked situation and right now you're like my drug. I'm addicted to you. My lifeline." He shook his head and held onto Sean tight. "You're so good and I'm so me, that I don't think I can be your boyfriend."

Sean wanted to argue, but when he opened his mouth, the words got stuck. He couldn't deny the truth no matter how much he hated it. Sadness soaked his excitement.

Sean just closed his eyes and kissed Finn again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love cheesy coming out scenes and I love portraying Esteban as an angel but I wanted to bring light to a more realistic side of him. Hope I did it justice. Thanks for all of your nice comments.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A very serious talk about the future and asking to what lengths one would go for the person they love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beware the added tags. There is //TW// Implied self harm/mention of self harm scars.  
Also alot more angst but there's one more chapter left and I intend to lighten things up a bit in the finale.  
(Also sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes. I wrote this on my phone and have no beta so yeah 😩)

Traced hands and dragged fingers along the letters on his knuckles. It read: Free Piza. Most likely a dare or whim enacted under the influence.

Each letter was assigned a different character. That way it made each finger important. However, Finn said that the finger with the lonely 'I' was the head honcho. The most important.

He lifted it to demonstrate. It coincidentally happened to be his middle finger, accompanied by a snide smile. Sean punched Finn in the shoulder while they laughed. Afterwards they tried to spell different things using the letters.

They got as far as four words: pee, pie, zip, and fear. Sean got a headache when he tried to focus. The letters blurred. The game suddenly wasn't as fun. Finn didn't mind though, he just curled up his hands into Sean's and waited for the pain to subside.

When they held hands, Sean noticed that Finn's were worn. Almost as rough as his Dad's which was attributed to years of working in a garage. Even his tattoos, acts of permanent teenage rebellion– faded over with callouses. Ink left behind as a pale reminder that the recent past was always aching to catch up.

Finn's hands were more worn than any kid's hands should have been. Scarred and burnt, like a million untold little stories of how he got to where he was. 

Finn had scars all over his body, not just his hands. Some were from juvie, little nicks from unforgiving fights. Some were from a childhood spent playing around with three roughhousing older brothers. Many were just from a life of living on the road. Marks left by nights sleeping in the woods and gifted by days in old creeks. Finn called them his marks of manhood.

Sometimes Sean felt bright eyed wonder when Finn showed off his scars. It really was like talking to a former soldier or current celebrity. He was suddenly as innocent as Daniel. However, with scars, there was always more to tell. A flip side that whisked away Sean's eagerness.

There were scars that Finn didn't really show off. Ones that weren't as glamorous. On his ankles and on his midriff, thin scars crowded together in sharp lines that painted a devastatingly clear picture. Some thick, some paper thin. All tucked away out of view.

Self harm, and by the look of the scars, a very prevalent habit.

Finn didn't talk about it much, but he briefly joked that the scars were the reason he wore all the ankle bracelets. "Don't want them to lock me in the psych ward and throw away the key all because of some stupid paper cuts ,'' he said with a laugh. Sean didn't really find it funny.

The mental health of a hurt teenage gutter punk was impossible to break down, but Sean knew Finn needed help. 

However, despite everything, Finn got better.

There were nights when he'd sneak into Sean's room just to bury his face in his chest. He'd sit there in silence until the nurses came for checkups or he needed sleep. Somehow always too close for comfort, but never quite close enough.

One day, Sean and Finn had a conversation about check out. The day that always felt so theoretical and how close it had become.

"I'm on some cheap ass insurance plan. Meaning they'll take care of me for about another couple of weeks. Another month if I act hurt enough " Finn said while chewing a string from his hospital gown. "Probably isn't worth much though. I gotta get back to life."

They were sitting on Sean's bed with s deck of unopened cards between them. A pretense that did little since most of the nurses had caught on to their 'friendship' by that point. Tk think those times would be over so soon . . .

Sean ignored the little pang in his heart at the thought of their not-relationship being over. They experienced a life away from life. A nice daydream to pass the time. Sean ignored how wrong that felt as best he could. He told himself that he wasn't the boy that kissed Finn. No, right then, he was a friend. Someone impartial.

"What are you going to do when you get out?" Sean asked, keeping his voice neutral.

Finn leaned forward on his elbows. "Well there ain't really a protocol for homeless kids with lifetime injuries." He let the string drop from his mouth. "Since I'm still a minor, they'll probably call in some social worker to get me placed with a home."

He shrugged. "I'll probably take off before any of that happens though."

"Take off?" Sean asked. The phrase sent chills down his back. It sounded too final. "What do you mean? Where will you go?" He didn't mean to sound like his Dad but it happened subconsciously. He couldn't help but be worried.

Finn either didn't notice Sean's anxiety or purposefully ignored it, because he didn't bother quelling his fears. "I don't know sweetheart. I'll probably just hobble down south till I meet up with my crew again. Knowing Hans, the gang is probably making some cash at a farm." 

Finn's eyes darkened when he thought about them. "We always talked about what to do if I couldn't run with them anymore. Heh. Didn't know that day would actually come though." He clenched at his gown. "Hell, I probably won't even be able to work too much with the bum leg." Finn choked out another weak, humorless laugh.

Listening to Finn talk was like watching a fly caught in a web. The only difference was that he had no more fight left. He was resigned to whatever fate awaited him on the road. It was . . . pathetic. Sean knew it was wrong to think so, but he couldn't help it.

Sean bit his lip, the last barrier his mind could think of to keep the peace. It was no use. He had to speak out. 

"That's really fucking dumb Finn."

Sean didn't know who was more surprised at the outburst between the two of them. It came out a lot harsher than he intended. Finn looked shocked into submission. Maybe some leftover juvie response. The guy that talks the loudest and the hardest deserved to be heard. The guy who made the most sense. It wasn't the time to analyze Finn or the time to be shocked. It was time for Sean to take a shot at real, honest communication.

He looked into Finn's bewildered eyes. "I'm sorry, but I meant what I said. The idea that you can't change or get better and that you have to go back to being a drifter is so wrong." Sean shook his head. "You can make a life here. You can make a life with me."

Finn looked away, but Sean reached out to lift his gaze. "Stay with me Finn. Be with me."

Finn opened his mouth but no sound came out. Likely excuses that got caught in the back of his throat. They tumbled out of his mouth in the form of nervous laughs. Sean had been suppressing his own nervous ticks the whole time.

"The guys–," Finn tried with a weak voice. He sounded beaten. "And being put in a home? What about that? I'm not eighteen yet so for a couple of months I'll be living at some stranger's expense."

Sean shrugged. "It's worth the risk Finn."

Finn closed his eyes and let out a shaky breath. After a moment of absolute stillness, Finn opened his eyes. He looked bleary, like the idea of stability was obscene. Ripping chaos away from Finn being like separating an addict and their drug. It seemed impossible to him. Like he would die.

Sean leaned forward and kissed Finn to help quiet whatever loud thoughts were racing through his head. It was the first time they kissed since starting the talk. They went into it so distant and left it so open that their hearts were bare.

Finn pushed into the kiss, then pulled away with a sweet little smile.

"I'll try honey."

They kissed goodbye, soft and tender, a little lingering. Then Finn donned his cane and went back to his room. Sean let himself revel in the sadness of seeing Finn's thin frame leaving. It was like he was being left behind.

The next morning, Sean was told that Finn was gone. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your patience. Also thanks for leaving sweet comments. I read them while I'm writing to motivate me.


	4. 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Finale

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof sorry this took so long. Ep 5 is almost out now lol.

Sean knew Finn was gone that morning. He woke up at 5am like being jolted out of a nightmare and felt the emptiness. It was quiet down the hall, quieter than it had been in the last few months. A boy gone just like a whisper and in his place, a stuffy hospital room. Clean as they day they had come.

The seed of some raw emotion planted itself at the base of Sean's throat.

The official message came through Joey after a few hours of hushed talks. While most of the nurses could tell Sean and Finn were friends, only Joey knew how deep that bond really ran. It was apparent by the sadness in his eyes. It was like he himself had been abandoned.

Joey wasn't a trained therapist but he was an understanding friend and a genuinely good person, so Sean held his tongue when they talked. He nodded like he was supposed to and let himself be apologized to. 

The rest of Sean's stay was completed in a bitter quiet, like a wet sheet had been thrown over the entire hospital. It was only removed when he was finally recovered enough to go home a few weeks later.

His father came to pick him up early that day. He knew without words what happened.

"Come here mijo," Esteban said. Sean fell into his Dad's embrace and buried his face into his shoulder. It wasn't like Finn was dead, but knowing that boy and knowing those streets, it was hard to guess how he'd fare. Sean tried his best to take his Dad's comforting words to heart.

His Dad held Sean's face in his hands. "Don't worry. We're going to rebuild. Start fresh." He held Sean tight. Sean let himself be engulfed in the hug. When his Dad spoke, he believed him. 

And for good reason apparently, since life started looking up after the hospital. Sean enrolled in online classes so he'd have enough credits to try out for track again. Also Lyla came to hang out almost everyday. Heck, Sean was in such a good mood that he occasionally let Daniel tag along on their adventures. The freakin' fighters and their pet enano. 

Things were fun. Even though he kept his feelings about Finn to himself. Lyla had questions about the mysterious friend Sean had in the hospital. Apparently Daniel had told her they were best friends. Special friends in a way he wasn't with Lyla. Sean brushed her off on the subject. Finn and everything about him was over. 

Or at least that Sean thought till he got an unknown call at 2am one night. He was up late working on an essay. The house was quiet sans the sound of clacking on the keyboard. The essay was just coming to a close when his phone started buzzing from the desk.

Sean looked at the caller ID. It read Unknown. 

The call was short and abrupt. "I need help." Sean recognized the voice instantly. It made his heart beat and his throat burn. He bit the inside of his cheek then spoke. "What's wrong?"

"I can't go back. Everythings getting legalized so more cops are involved. If they find me Im going to– no, no, no. There's no more money down south, especially not for a kid with a fucking cane." Finn said, more worked up than Sean had ever heard him. "I don't know where to go and you're the only person I can go to."

Finn's voice faltered. The sound of cars soaring past in the background punctuated each of his shaky breaths. He was by a highway. Potentially the one near the hospital if Finn tried to find his way back.

Sean knew he was making a mistake, but the second he heard Finn's voice, his head was clouded and his heart took over. He couldn't just ignore the wave of feelings that washed over him though.

"If you come to my house I'll sneak you in and you can sleep here." Sean offered against his better judgment. "I can't promise you'll have a place to stay after tonight, but we can talk about it." Finding it easy to lie on the phone. Sean knew as soon as he gave Finn the address, there was no way he'd be able to turn him away.

Finn accepted fast. Sean could practically hear the smile in his voice. He forced his own smile down at the thought of it. 

There was a tap at the window about half an hour later. Sean had been sitting at his desk, praying that Finn wouldn't accidentally go to Daniel or Dad's room.

He used a walking stick instead of the cane he left the hospital with. He used the long end of it to tao the window gently. Sean quietly opened the window and pulled Finn in without hesitation. If Brett's family saw a strange boy climbing into their house, a letter would be the least of their worries. The entire neighborhood watch would probably descend on them at once.

Luckily Finn was light, so despite the injury, he was inside the house fast.

Sean couldn't even look his square in the face and his hands were shaking so much he had to stuff them in his pockets to hide the tremors. Finn was breathing hard but Sean could still hear that smile in his voice. "Thank you for taking me in sweetie."

That was the first time Sean looked up. Finn's eyes glittered with moisture. Sean looked back down. They would talk in the morning. For now, Sean needed to sleep.

He slipped into his bed and curled up facing the wall. After some shuffling, Sean felt Finn's weight ease in next to him.

They laid in the bed facing away from each other, backs just barely touching. The whole time till Sean fell asleep, it sounded like Finn was holding his breath. Sean held his too, waiting for whispered apologies or explanations. They never came and Sean fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

Sean woke up to the sound if Daniel pounding on his door. "Aww. No fair! Why's your door locked Sean?" He cried from outside the room. Sean glanced over at Finn who was just starting to wake up. Content and wildly real.

"Don't worry about it Daniel! Leave me alone dude!" Sean yelled back. Finn silently stretched next to him, bleary but fine to stay buried in the covers.

It sounded like Daniel was trying to strong arm the door himself, but when he couldn't pry it open, he kicked it. "Dad said no locked doors! I'm telling on you," he threatened while he stomped away. 

Sean groaned and pulled himself out of bed. "Are you ready?" Finn turned and furrowed his brow. "Ready for what?" 

"To talk. I'm gonna talk to my Dad about you. Tell him the circumstances and see if he'll let you stay." Sean said. He pulled on a different shirt and smoothed his bed head.

Finn shook his head while Sean straightened himself up. "Unless somebody wants to adopt a disabled, almost-adult man, I'm screwed." He interjected, heartless. 

Sean turned back. "What are you talking about?" When he met Finn's eyes, it was like they pressed play on all of the paused emotions from last night. He looked like he was going to cry.

"I'm such a fucking idiot," Finn choked out. "I self harm and self sabotage until there's nothing left to ruin." He shook his head, then caught the denial and started nodding to combat it. "I do it constantly, man. I don't even realize I'm doing it until I'm standing in shards of my own broken life."

Sean just watched him. It was like watching a star spiral down to earth. Beautiful but tragic, as the voice of logic that constantly nagged him couldn't forget. Something that had to die first before it could go back to being pretty. Rather than Finn's heart, it was Sean's trust that had gotten the axe the first time.

Sean couldn't make up his mind. Finn was reminiscent of a stray dog begging. The desperation pushed him to say things he wasn't sure he meant. A mental vomit to pull Sean back. Panic taking over where reality should have been. It was sad but understandable.

"I'm doing it now, aren't I?" Finn asked. When Sean gave a slow nod as confirmation, Finn looked away. It was obvious he was ashamed. He was always so ashamed.

"Look man, just let me talk to my Dad. We can help you."

Finn gave in with a reluctant nod.

…

They were sitting in front of him in the garage. Finn looked especially scrappy in the glaring sunlight. He had his eyes to the floor like he too was aware of that fact. His knees were drawn together and his shoulders were so hunched that it was impossible to ignore the protruding bones in his collar and arms. 

Sean stood by, unsure whether to stand by his Dad or by Finn. A translator for something beyond language in this scenario, or better yet, a salesman. Sean had to utilize the only skill he had in the shop– his words. He sold the idea of Finn to his Dad like he would an old car, just hoping the metaphor landed.

"Please," he pleaded to his Dad who just silently watched. "Please just give him a chance Dad. I promise you it'll be okay." In not so many words, he was also promising his Dad that he would be okay too.

After a long time, he spoke. "I'm probably the worst parent in the world," Esteban said with his eyes screwed shut after a long silence. He opened them and looked to the sky like he hoped it would offer some clarity. For some divine intervention to stop his hand before he did what he was going to do.

When no such sign came, Esteban let a tight breath out through his nose and agreed with a blasé hand wave. "As long as Sean's door stays open and you promise to help out around here, you can stay."

Sean and Finn both lit up. "Really?"

"I mean, what the heck, you know?" Came his light answer. "Anyways, we needed some extra hands at the shop and I have a feeling you're experience with cars." Esteban said with a little wink. He tried to play stern but his smile gave him away. His excitement was obvious.

"Yessir. My Dad, brothers, and I used to work on cars together. We had a family garage."

"Well look at that Sean, Finn here is already taking your place," Esteban said with a hearty laugh. He slapped Finn's shoulder and shook his head. "I mean, listen to this and you'd think he was my son."

Sean rolled his eyes and folded. "Okay Dad, I get it. I suck at cars and Finn is the best." 

Finn and Esteban shared a glance, then snickered. "Come on Sean, don't get all pissy because your Dad likes me best." He mock pleaded. Sean pushed his shoulder but the smile had reached his face too. He sounded like a child mid tantrum, but it was nice to see they were getting along.

Esteban wiped the sweat from his brow, leaving a huge oil stain on his forehead. The look suited him. Sean leaned into Finn's shoulder while his Dad spread more oil to his cheeks. "You've got a lot to learn from your frie-," he stopped himself and looked between them. "Your boyfriend."

Both Sean and Finn decided to ignore that comment. 

...

After that day, Finn was a semi official member of the family. It didn't take him long to get used to his new life. After a few nights of pretense, he left the couch and went back to sleeping in Sean's room. A few conversations with Daniel were all it took to get him on board with Finn. It helped that they were basically the same age in maturity.

Outside of the house. Finn got the hang of working at the garage fast. The customers loved him and that southern charm of his brought in crowds of old ladies who suddenly needed tune ups.

Everything was good. However, there was one more conversation left to have.

Sean approached Finn one night while he was using the computer. He was sending an email to some of the friends he used to run with. He said it was like a form of therapy. Sean liked to watch him write. If Finn were his boyfriend he would hug him from behind, but Sean wasn't sure what they were so he just sat on the bed next to him.

The question had been on the tip of his tongue for weeks, but the urge to ask was suddenly overpowering. He watched Finn write a little more then asked quietly,"Are you my boyfriend?"

Finn's hands hesitated, then he spun in his chair so he and Sean were face to face. He dipped his head and clasped his hands, like a prayer. "I couldn't say, y'know? I'm scared I'm actually gonna catch myself falling for you, sweetheart. It feels dangerous" Finn admitted. He smiled but his eyes were so sad. "And if I get one taste of sympathy I'll just go back to being a big baby."

Finn laughed a little but Sean didn't. He knit his eyebrows and touched Finn's cheek, a ghosting little flutter of contact. Finn looked like he wanted to pull away, but didn't. He just watched Sean with those pale, glassy eyes.

"It's not sympathy Finn. I care about you." Sean said in a little voice. He leaned down so he and Finn were close enough to breathe each other's air. Instead of leaning in for the kiss though, Sean rested his forehead on Finn's. He paused, then exhaled. "So please, just let yourself feel."

Steady, slight, Finn leaned up and met Sean's lips. The culmination of everything unsaid in that single moment's decision. It was addicting. Sean leaned into him and felt the sound of his heart. Steady and fast. Indescribable. 

"Okay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See y'all again soon thanks for sticking with me.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. I'm gonna try to make another chapter but just let me know what you think.


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